Let me jump right into the fire. My husband does not believe in ' grey areas'. For him every thing is either black or white. I ,on the other hand beg to differ. I believe, life is full of grey areas. Areas which don't have clear demarcations, especially while dealing with relations or people who are important in your life. You step carefully, like on egg-shells.
I guess, the rat race has made him so cynical. The cut throat competition hasn't helped either. Surely he isn't the only one? I see more and more professionals fall into this category. Every day as he is home from work, I feel his irritation and anger. It never seems to let up, rarely do I see him relax.
Why this need for perfection? Why give more of yourself than you can afford to? Why expect others(your family) to follow you? God did not make us perfect--in this sense. He has thrown in imperfections. We were not meant to be robots. Robots are supposed to be perfect --in every sense. Even that has not been possible---scientifically.
It's good to be striving towards a goal, realistically I might add. Having a purpose, a goal is important. But being so tightly wound up that you ignore your surroundings, surely isn't sensible? Last week ,my husband worked 18 hrs a day for two weeks without a break. Stress levels hit the roof, as you can well imagine. I was stressed because he was stressed and because we were stressed my daughter suffered. She kept asking her dad, why he didn't spend time with her. Unable to understand what was happening around her, she one day burst out crying. There was this huge tantrum (something my daughter does not indulge in) all because she did not get to see her dad on the weekend. Thankfully, I managed to calm her.
If he had the time, I would like to remind my husband of a decade ago. We were in love and everything was all right with the world. Love is and will be the largest 'grey area' in life. You cannot define or defy love. We were no exception to that rule. If he just took the time to look back at those days, he would realise how much he is missing out by not taking it a little slow.
Friday 24 April 2009
Sunday 12 April 2009
THE BUSINESS OF LEARNING.
MY daughter is just learning to read. These days she is reading full sentences and even tries her hand at short stories. She is doing well. Yesterday , she managed a whole page of her favourite fairy tale. I was so proud I could have shouted from rooftops. I am waiting for the day when I don't have to read her good night stories anymore. She is independent in most of her activities and in the next year or so should be able to take charge of herself.
I have myself not been far behind--in the learning process. In one of my earlier blogs , I had mentioned my weakness in the baking area. I have finally got over the fear. I have been consistently turning out really good muffins and brownies. I swear I am not lying. Just ask the family. The proof of the pudding lies in the eating , well my hubby and daughter have definitely been gobbling them up. A dozen muffins disappear in a couple of days.
This process of learning never ends. We might not be aware, but with every passing moment, we learn something. We have learnt the likes and dislikes of our partners, our other families members and try our best to accommodate them. This is learning, isn't it? Even today, after 12 years of marriage, I learn new things about my partner. It's so strange, I thought I had finished with the learning process.
Every time I have moved, to a new city or country, I have without realising learnt and increased my knowledge. Like they say, 'Experience is the best teacher'. Life has taught me many lessons-- some good, some tough ,some funny and some sad. I have taken them in my stride. CHIN UP.
It's not been easy. That's for sure. With age you 'learn' to be patient. You inevitably ' learn' that there is a time for every thing. You ' learn' not to go against nature. You ' learn' to keep your cool. Being a mother to an impressionable five year old, as I 'learn' --I also teach. So it's imperative that I 'learn' the right things!!
In fact, from the time you come into the world you start learning. A child learns to use its senses. I remember my daughter trying to walk. She was all of eleven months and trying desperately to gather her balance and step ahead. All I did was to help her a couple of times , but when she walked , she did so on her own. She got up and walked over to me like it was the most natural thing to do. She had ' learnt ' to walk.
As always, I continue to support and nurture my daughter but she will finally 'learn' on her own. I am the book that has the knowledge and am willing to part with it, but the 'learning' she has to do herself.
I have myself not been far behind--in the learning process. In one of my earlier blogs , I had mentioned my weakness in the baking area. I have finally got over the fear. I have been consistently turning out really good muffins and brownies. I swear I am not lying. Just ask the family. The proof of the pudding lies in the eating , well my hubby and daughter have definitely been gobbling them up. A dozen muffins disappear in a couple of days.
This process of learning never ends. We might not be aware, but with every passing moment, we learn something. We have learnt the likes and dislikes of our partners, our other families members and try our best to accommodate them. This is learning, isn't it? Even today, after 12 years of marriage, I learn new things about my partner. It's so strange, I thought I had finished with the learning process.
Every time I have moved, to a new city or country, I have without realising learnt and increased my knowledge. Like they say, 'Experience is the best teacher'. Life has taught me many lessons-- some good, some tough ,some funny and some sad. I have taken them in my stride. CHIN UP.
It's not been easy. That's for sure. With age you 'learn' to be patient. You inevitably ' learn' that there is a time for every thing. You ' learn' not to go against nature. You ' learn' to keep your cool. Being a mother to an impressionable five year old, as I 'learn' --I also teach. So it's imperative that I 'learn' the right things!!
In fact, from the time you come into the world you start learning. A child learns to use its senses. I remember my daughter trying to walk. She was all of eleven months and trying desperately to gather her balance and step ahead. All I did was to help her a couple of times , but when she walked , she did so on her own. She got up and walked over to me like it was the most natural thing to do. She had ' learnt ' to walk.
As always, I continue to support and nurture my daughter but she will finally 'learn' on her own. I am the book that has the knowledge and am willing to part with it, but the 'learning' she has to do herself.
Wednesday 1 April 2009
KI KANDO!!
Ami Probashi Bangalee, go toh 1 bochur theke ami UK te achi. Na ,Na ekhane settle korini. India phere jete, ami paa bari ye e achi. Amar didi abar ' belethi ' . Seh , aaj 10 bochur theke Canada te baash korche. Amar Ma/ Baba thake, Ramrajatola --Howrah. Buj the e parchen obostha. Teen jone teen dikhe. Ekhon ami je ghotona ta bornona korbo sey e ta soth thi gotona. Ektu o bariye bolchi na---Maa kaali r dibbi!!!
Amar jamai babu--Asit da, hotat decide ( ko ekta English kotha dho kach chi--bol lam toh Probashi) korlo seh bari kinbe KOLKATA te. Aar ami je he tu okhane chilam , before coming to UK, sei dai e toh ta amar. Amar mone hole ,didi amar barrir kaache thakle sub hi de hobe , tai ami Jodhpur Park er ekta 'Agent' dhorlam. Phone korte jante parlam tar nam--Tapas Pal. Tai bell bajthe, ami jokhun dorja khul lam , ektu o bak e hoi chi. Ekta chottoh moton , gol gal manus pan chebate chebate bollo--"Ami Tapas pal. Cholun apna ke ko ekta bhalo bari dekha e". Ekhuno majhe-majhe raatire ghum bhenge jai--sei kaalo , gol mukh ta aar paan er chop dhora obda kabda daanth mone pore. Uuf!
Jai hok--ami toh gelam baari dekte. Amake niye gelo-Salimpur er ekta barithe. Baire theke toh building ta bhaloi laglo. First floor e uthe uthe dek hi ekta baari r dorja khola. Ekta , khali geye aar komore gam cha bendhe , moddho bhittho boishko lok dorja te dare ye ache. Ama ke dekte e bol len, "Ki !! Phete ana cho?". Amar chok chana boda hoi gelo!! Ki bole--ami phete ante jabo keno!! Pore jaan te parlam --'phete' maane-measuring tape!! Aar Tapas Pal--Se toh barithe e dhuk lo na. Amake bollo--"Jan jan apni dek he ashun."
Bari tar toh kichu bolar e nei. Jaar malik orakhum kore dorjar te dariye theke, lok ke bhoi dek ha be--tar baari toh buj te e par chen. Ekta e kotha maathai ash che---SANGHATHICK. Aar tar por Lok ta amar saathe kotha bole e jaa che. Ami jotoh bar berobar chesta kor chi , seh baarir suk khati korei choleche. Ami ekbar baire takalam--amader Tapas pal er dik he. Seh mich ke mich ke haas che aar amake ishara korche--"chole ashun, buro charbe na sohoje."
Ami , finally jokhun bero the parlam--buro amake bol lo--"Amar apna ke pochondoh hoi che. Ami baari apna ke e bekkire korbo".
KI KANDO !! KI JE MUSH KILE PORECHILAM!!
Amar jamai babu--Asit da, hotat decide ( ko ekta English kotha dho kach chi--bol lam toh Probashi) korlo seh bari kinbe KOLKATA te. Aar ami je he tu okhane chilam , before coming to UK, sei dai e toh ta amar. Amar mone hole ,didi amar barrir kaache thakle sub hi de hobe , tai ami Jodhpur Park er ekta 'Agent' dhorlam. Phone korte jante parlam tar nam--Tapas Pal. Tai bell bajthe, ami jokhun dorja khul lam , ektu o bak e hoi chi. Ekta chottoh moton , gol gal manus pan chebate chebate bollo--"Ami Tapas pal. Cholun apna ke ko ekta bhalo bari dekha e". Ekhuno majhe-majhe raatire ghum bhenge jai--sei kaalo , gol mukh ta aar paan er chop dhora obda kabda daanth mone pore. Uuf!
Jai hok--ami toh gelam baari dekte. Amake niye gelo-Salimpur er ekta barithe. Baire theke toh building ta bhaloi laglo. First floor e uthe uthe dek hi ekta baari r dorja khola. Ekta , khali geye aar komore gam cha bendhe , moddho bhittho boishko lok dorja te dare ye ache. Ama ke dekte e bol len, "Ki !! Phete ana cho?". Amar chok chana boda hoi gelo!! Ki bole--ami phete ante jabo keno!! Pore jaan te parlam --'phete' maane-measuring tape!! Aar Tapas Pal--Se toh barithe e dhuk lo na. Amake bollo--"Jan jan apni dek he ashun."
Bari tar toh kichu bolar e nei. Jaar malik orakhum kore dorjar te dariye theke, lok ke bhoi dek ha be--tar baari toh buj te e par chen. Ekta e kotha maathai ash che---SANGHATHICK. Aar tar por Lok ta amar saathe kotha bole e jaa che. Ami jotoh bar berobar chesta kor chi , seh baarir suk khati korei choleche. Ami ekbar baire takalam--amader Tapas pal er dik he. Seh mich ke mich ke haas che aar amake ishara korche--"chole ashun, buro charbe na sohoje."
Ami , finally jokhun bero the parlam--buro amake bol lo--"Amar apna ke pochondoh hoi che. Ami baari apna ke e bekkire korbo".
KI KANDO !! KI JE MUSH KILE PORECHILAM!!
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