Friday, 24 April 2009


Let me jump right into the fire. My husband does not believe in ' grey areas'. For him every thing is either black or white. I ,on the other hand beg to differ. I believe, life is full of grey areas. Areas which don't have clear demarcations, especially while dealing with relations or people who are important in your life. You step carefully, like on egg-shells.

I guess, the rat race has made him so cynical. The cut throat competition hasn't helped either. Surely he isn't the only one? I see more and more professionals fall into this category. Every day as he is home from work, I feel his irritation and anger. It never seems to let up, rarely do I see him relax.

Why this need for perfection? Why give more of yourself than you can afford to? Why expect others(your family) to follow you? God did not make us perfect--in this sense. He has thrown in imperfections. We were not meant to be robots. Robots are supposed to be perfect --in every sense. Even that has not been possible---scientifically.

It's good to be striving towards a goal, realistically I might add. Having a purpose, a goal is important. But being so tightly wound up that you ignore your surroundings, surely isn't sensible? Last week ,my husband worked 18 hrs a day for two weeks without a break. Stress levels hit the roof, as you can well imagine. I was stressed because he was stressed and because we were stressed my daughter suffered. She kept asking her dad, why he didn't spend time with her. Unable to understand what was happening around her, she one day burst out crying. There was this huge tantrum (something my daughter does not indulge in) all because she did not get to see her dad on the weekend. Thankfully, I managed to calm her.

If he had the time, I would like to remind my husband of a decade ago. We were in love and everything was all right with the world. Love is and will be the largest 'grey area' in life. You cannot define or defy love. We were no exception to that rule. If he just took the time to look back at those days, he would realise how much he is missing out by not taking it a little slow.


  1. I could say "ditto" to what I see happening at my home. I keep asking myself, "Why is my home becoming just a house?". Life a decade back was so different. Little money, carefree world, good quality time with each other. I guess now our husbands are in the peak of their career and hence know that they have a limited time span to achieve what they can/want. I'm sure the greener days will return once this hunger for success and proving their worth is met. How we can help? Be their strength and not weakness.

  2. "Be their Strength and not weakness"... very well said by annonymous. but very difficult indeed.
    I too see my husband chasing the goal impatiently but thank god he still manage to give enough time to my son. Though for me there is very little left and I too remember those days when we spent those eagerly awaited moments together but the consolation is, he is doing all these for us .