This morning as I was getting my daughter ready for school, she said, "I can do that by myself, Mamma."
I watched as she changed by herself ,so confident and unhurried. I felt proud to have taught her well. As I knelt down to do up her shoes, she said," No Mamma,I'll do it."
Again, I took a step back and watched as she worked on her shoe laces.Her little forehead crinkled in concentration, she managed to do it just fine. The clock ,at that moment chimed the half past eight gong and we rushed out to school.
Something was bothering me, but at that moment I didn't it give it a thought.
On the way back from school, that upsetting thought came back.
Am I becoming redundant? Does my daughter not need me anymore? She is ready to do things by herself. And more importantly , she wants to. A state of panic hit me, for a moment.
I am not sure, who depends on whom. Do I depend on her more than she on me? Is that a possibility? Truth can come home in many ways. As she is growing , I am teaching her to be confident and to learn to do things by herself, as any mother would. Isn't that what I want? But in that process, I am slowly making myself redundant.
This process will continue until she is an adult and can finally spread her wings and soar high up in the sky. Yes! That is what I want. I am sure of it!!
In the meantime, I am going to look at other avenues to full fill myself as an individual. I know, my daughter has a lot left to learn. But how time flies! I don't want to be one of those clingy kind of mothers who molly coddle their children and don't want to let go. I will continue to let her be independent and grow into an individual.
Eventually, I will be a proud parent of a well adjusted child. And as a mother , I will always be by her side. HEY! THAT'S JUST WHAT MY MOTHER DID!!
Monday 15 June 2009
Friday 24 April 2009
THE GREY AREAS.
Let me jump right into the fire. My husband does not believe in ' grey areas'. For him every thing is either black or white. I ,on the other hand beg to differ. I believe, life is full of grey areas. Areas which don't have clear demarcations, especially while dealing with relations or people who are important in your life. You step carefully, like on egg-shells.
I guess, the rat race has made him so cynical. The cut throat competition hasn't helped either. Surely he isn't the only one? I see more and more professionals fall into this category. Every day as he is home from work, I feel his irritation and anger. It never seems to let up, rarely do I see him relax.
Why this need for perfection? Why give more of yourself than you can afford to? Why expect others(your family) to follow you? God did not make us perfect--in this sense. He has thrown in imperfections. We were not meant to be robots. Robots are supposed to be perfect --in every sense. Even that has not been possible---scientifically.
It's good to be striving towards a goal, realistically I might add. Having a purpose, a goal is important. But being so tightly wound up that you ignore your surroundings, surely isn't sensible? Last week ,my husband worked 18 hrs a day for two weeks without a break. Stress levels hit the roof, as you can well imagine. I was stressed because he was stressed and because we were stressed my daughter suffered. She kept asking her dad, why he didn't spend time with her. Unable to understand what was happening around her, she one day burst out crying. There was this huge tantrum (something my daughter does not indulge in) all because she did not get to see her dad on the weekend. Thankfully, I managed to calm her.
If he had the time, I would like to remind my husband of a decade ago. We were in love and everything was all right with the world. Love is and will be the largest 'grey area' in life. You cannot define or defy love. We were no exception to that rule. If he just took the time to look back at those days, he would realise how much he is missing out by not taking it a little slow.
I guess, the rat race has made him so cynical. The cut throat competition hasn't helped either. Surely he isn't the only one? I see more and more professionals fall into this category. Every day as he is home from work, I feel his irritation and anger. It never seems to let up, rarely do I see him relax.
Why this need for perfection? Why give more of yourself than you can afford to? Why expect others(your family) to follow you? God did not make us perfect--in this sense. He has thrown in imperfections. We were not meant to be robots. Robots are supposed to be perfect --in every sense. Even that has not been possible---scientifically.
It's good to be striving towards a goal, realistically I might add. Having a purpose, a goal is important. But being so tightly wound up that you ignore your surroundings, surely isn't sensible? Last week ,my husband worked 18 hrs a day for two weeks without a break. Stress levels hit the roof, as you can well imagine. I was stressed because he was stressed and because we were stressed my daughter suffered. She kept asking her dad, why he didn't spend time with her. Unable to understand what was happening around her, she one day burst out crying. There was this huge tantrum (something my daughter does not indulge in) all because she did not get to see her dad on the weekend. Thankfully, I managed to calm her.
If he had the time, I would like to remind my husband of a decade ago. We were in love and everything was all right with the world. Love is and will be the largest 'grey area' in life. You cannot define or defy love. We were no exception to that rule. If he just took the time to look back at those days, he would realise how much he is missing out by not taking it a little slow.
Sunday 12 April 2009
THE BUSINESS OF LEARNING.
MY daughter is just learning to read. These days she is reading full sentences and even tries her hand at short stories. She is doing well. Yesterday , she managed a whole page of her favourite fairy tale. I was so proud I could have shouted from rooftops. I am waiting for the day when I don't have to read her good night stories anymore. She is independent in most of her activities and in the next year or so should be able to take charge of herself.
I have myself not been far behind--in the learning process. In one of my earlier blogs , I had mentioned my weakness in the baking area. I have finally got over the fear. I have been consistently turning out really good muffins and brownies. I swear I am not lying. Just ask the family. The proof of the pudding lies in the eating , well my hubby and daughter have definitely been gobbling them up. A dozen muffins disappear in a couple of days.
This process of learning never ends. We might not be aware, but with every passing moment, we learn something. We have learnt the likes and dislikes of our partners, our other families members and try our best to accommodate them. This is learning, isn't it? Even today, after 12 years of marriage, I learn new things about my partner. It's so strange, I thought I had finished with the learning process.
Every time I have moved, to a new city or country, I have without realising learnt and increased my knowledge. Like they say, 'Experience is the best teacher'. Life has taught me many lessons-- some good, some tough ,some funny and some sad. I have taken them in my stride. CHIN UP.
It's not been easy. That's for sure. With age you 'learn' to be patient. You inevitably ' learn' that there is a time for every thing. You ' learn' not to go against nature. You ' learn' to keep your cool. Being a mother to an impressionable five year old, as I 'learn' --I also teach. So it's imperative that I 'learn' the right things!!
In fact, from the time you come into the world you start learning. A child learns to use its senses. I remember my daughter trying to walk. She was all of eleven months and trying desperately to gather her balance and step ahead. All I did was to help her a couple of times , but when she walked , she did so on her own. She got up and walked over to me like it was the most natural thing to do. She had ' learnt ' to walk.
As always, I continue to support and nurture my daughter but she will finally 'learn' on her own. I am the book that has the knowledge and am willing to part with it, but the 'learning' she has to do herself.
I have myself not been far behind--in the learning process. In one of my earlier blogs , I had mentioned my weakness in the baking area. I have finally got over the fear. I have been consistently turning out really good muffins and brownies. I swear I am not lying. Just ask the family. The proof of the pudding lies in the eating , well my hubby and daughter have definitely been gobbling them up. A dozen muffins disappear in a couple of days.
This process of learning never ends. We might not be aware, but with every passing moment, we learn something. We have learnt the likes and dislikes of our partners, our other families members and try our best to accommodate them. This is learning, isn't it? Even today, after 12 years of marriage, I learn new things about my partner. It's so strange, I thought I had finished with the learning process.
Every time I have moved, to a new city or country, I have without realising learnt and increased my knowledge. Like they say, 'Experience is the best teacher'. Life has taught me many lessons-- some good, some tough ,some funny and some sad. I have taken them in my stride. CHIN UP.
It's not been easy. That's for sure. With age you 'learn' to be patient. You inevitably ' learn' that there is a time for every thing. You ' learn' not to go against nature. You ' learn' to keep your cool. Being a mother to an impressionable five year old, as I 'learn' --I also teach. So it's imperative that I 'learn' the right things!!
In fact, from the time you come into the world you start learning. A child learns to use its senses. I remember my daughter trying to walk. She was all of eleven months and trying desperately to gather her balance and step ahead. All I did was to help her a couple of times , but when she walked , she did so on her own. She got up and walked over to me like it was the most natural thing to do. She had ' learnt ' to walk.
As always, I continue to support and nurture my daughter but she will finally 'learn' on her own. I am the book that has the knowledge and am willing to part with it, but the 'learning' she has to do herself.
Wednesday 1 April 2009
KI KANDO!!
Ami Probashi Bangalee, go toh 1 bochur theke ami UK te achi. Na ,Na ekhane settle korini. India phere jete, ami paa bari ye e achi. Amar didi abar ' belethi ' . Seh , aaj 10 bochur theke Canada te baash korche. Amar Ma/ Baba thake, Ramrajatola --Howrah. Buj the e parchen obostha. Teen jone teen dikhe. Ekhon ami je ghotona ta bornona korbo sey e ta soth thi gotona. Ektu o bariye bolchi na---Maa kaali r dibbi!!!
Amar jamai babu--Asit da, hotat decide ( ko ekta English kotha dho kach chi--bol lam toh Probashi) korlo seh bari kinbe KOLKATA te. Aar ami je he tu okhane chilam , before coming to UK, sei dai e toh ta amar. Amar mone hole ,didi amar barrir kaache thakle sub hi de hobe , tai ami Jodhpur Park er ekta 'Agent' dhorlam. Phone korte jante parlam tar nam--Tapas Pal. Tai bell bajthe, ami jokhun dorja khul lam , ektu o bak e hoi chi. Ekta chottoh moton , gol gal manus pan chebate chebate bollo--"Ami Tapas pal. Cholun apna ke ko ekta bhalo bari dekha e". Ekhuno majhe-majhe raatire ghum bhenge jai--sei kaalo , gol mukh ta aar paan er chop dhora obda kabda daanth mone pore. Uuf!
Jai hok--ami toh gelam baari dekte. Amake niye gelo-Salimpur er ekta barithe. Baire theke toh building ta bhaloi laglo. First floor e uthe uthe dek hi ekta baari r dorja khola. Ekta , khali geye aar komore gam cha bendhe , moddho bhittho boishko lok dorja te dare ye ache. Ama ke dekte e bol len, "Ki !! Phete ana cho?". Amar chok chana boda hoi gelo!! Ki bole--ami phete ante jabo keno!! Pore jaan te parlam --'phete' maane-measuring tape!! Aar Tapas Pal--Se toh barithe e dhuk lo na. Amake bollo--"Jan jan apni dek he ashun."
Bari tar toh kichu bolar e nei. Jaar malik orakhum kore dorjar te dariye theke, lok ke bhoi dek ha be--tar baari toh buj te e par chen. Ekta e kotha maathai ash che---SANGHATHICK. Aar tar por Lok ta amar saathe kotha bole e jaa che. Ami jotoh bar berobar chesta kor chi , seh baarir suk khati korei choleche. Ami ekbar baire takalam--amader Tapas pal er dik he. Seh mich ke mich ke haas che aar amake ishara korche--"chole ashun, buro charbe na sohoje."
Ami , finally jokhun bero the parlam--buro amake bol lo--"Amar apna ke pochondoh hoi che. Ami baari apna ke e bekkire korbo".
KI KANDO !! KI JE MUSH KILE PORECHILAM!!
Amar jamai babu--Asit da, hotat decide ( ko ekta English kotha dho kach chi--bol lam toh Probashi) korlo seh bari kinbe KOLKATA te. Aar ami je he tu okhane chilam , before coming to UK, sei dai e toh ta amar. Amar mone hole ,didi amar barrir kaache thakle sub hi de hobe , tai ami Jodhpur Park er ekta 'Agent' dhorlam. Phone korte jante parlam tar nam--Tapas Pal. Tai bell bajthe, ami jokhun dorja khul lam , ektu o bak e hoi chi. Ekta chottoh moton , gol gal manus pan chebate chebate bollo--"Ami Tapas pal. Cholun apna ke ko ekta bhalo bari dekha e". Ekhuno majhe-majhe raatire ghum bhenge jai--sei kaalo , gol mukh ta aar paan er chop dhora obda kabda daanth mone pore. Uuf!
Jai hok--ami toh gelam baari dekte. Amake niye gelo-Salimpur er ekta barithe. Baire theke toh building ta bhaloi laglo. First floor e uthe uthe dek hi ekta baari r dorja khola. Ekta , khali geye aar komore gam cha bendhe , moddho bhittho boishko lok dorja te dare ye ache. Ama ke dekte e bol len, "Ki !! Phete ana cho?". Amar chok chana boda hoi gelo!! Ki bole--ami phete ante jabo keno!! Pore jaan te parlam --'phete' maane-measuring tape!! Aar Tapas Pal--Se toh barithe e dhuk lo na. Amake bollo--"Jan jan apni dek he ashun."
Bari tar toh kichu bolar e nei. Jaar malik orakhum kore dorjar te dariye theke, lok ke bhoi dek ha be--tar baari toh buj te e par chen. Ekta e kotha maathai ash che---SANGHATHICK. Aar tar por Lok ta amar saathe kotha bole e jaa che. Ami jotoh bar berobar chesta kor chi , seh baarir suk khati korei choleche. Ami ekbar baire takalam--amader Tapas pal er dik he. Seh mich ke mich ke haas che aar amake ishara korche--"chole ashun, buro charbe na sohoje."
Ami , finally jokhun bero the parlam--buro amake bol lo--"Amar apna ke pochondoh hoi che. Ami baari apna ke e bekkire korbo".
KI KANDO !! KI JE MUSH KILE PORECHILAM!!
Saturday 28 March 2009
The Deadly Onion!!
The most disgusting thing on earth is without doubt -----Onion Breath. Imagine being on a date with a guy who reeks onion every time he opens his mouth. Would you not dump him? The humble onion is , without mincing words, a trouble maker.
Even something as simple as chopping it causes trouble. I cry bucket fulls every time I chop one of these. Being a great fan of Indian food I find myself chopping the onion at every meal. But try cooking without the onion and your food will not taste the same, no matter how well you have cooked. The damn thing has to be present , how very irritating. It's presence can't be discounted in most cuisine's even though I would like to show it the door. It's like those people we often encounter in our lives --professional or other wise, who just make a point of being there even though they are not really welcome. They make their place by being, if I may add , absolutely essential to the situation. Like your BOSS. It is a love -hate situation, isn't it?
Can you imagine how proud the 'humble onion' was a few years back when the prices had shot up ? Everybody was talking about it and giving it such undue attention, that the price soared further. We were , I remember , treating the onion with such caution and care as though it were worth it's weight in gold! How ridiculously we humans behave! Instead of putting the onion in it's place, we fanned it's importance.
Right, now I need to get back to making dinner. The family have decided on the Indian fast food---PAV BHAJI. There I can see the onion smiling at me, almost maliciously. I don't have an option now, do I? No wonder I call the onion---THE DEADLY ONION.
Even something as simple as chopping it causes trouble. I cry bucket fulls every time I chop one of these. Being a great fan of Indian food I find myself chopping the onion at every meal. But try cooking without the onion and your food will not taste the same, no matter how well you have cooked. The damn thing has to be present , how very irritating. It's presence can't be discounted in most cuisine's even though I would like to show it the door. It's like those people we often encounter in our lives --professional or other wise, who just make a point of being there even though they are not really welcome. They make their place by being, if I may add , absolutely essential to the situation. Like your BOSS. It is a love -hate situation, isn't it?
Can you imagine how proud the 'humble onion' was a few years back when the prices had shot up ? Everybody was talking about it and giving it such undue attention, that the price soared further. We were , I remember , treating the onion with such caution and care as though it were worth it's weight in gold! How ridiculously we humans behave! Instead of putting the onion in it's place, we fanned it's importance.
Right, now I need to get back to making dinner. The family have decided on the Indian fast food---PAV BHAJI. There I can see the onion smiling at me, almost maliciously. I don't have an option now, do I? No wonder I call the onion---THE DEADLY ONION.
Friday 20 March 2009
FRIENDS FOR LIFE.
Friends for life.... I never believed such a thing existed. But I was proven wrong this morning. So I dedicate this blog to those friends who have re entered my life and bought back nostalgic memories. I hadn't laughed this hard in days. It really cheered me up, something to cherish in this otherwise uneventful day.
I was lost. Lost in the nitty-gritty of humdrum existence. My happy, carefree and beautiful childhood cloaked under the shadow of growing up. Growing up, getting married and having a family took precedent over everything else. I was told---"This is what adults do." I believed and did the same.
Today has been a turning point in my life, and I recognize it. Real adults never sever ties. They carry forward with them the people who matter. I spoke to a long lost friend today and not surprisingly the connection was instant. Neither of us hesitant, we spoke for long hours. We laughed and joked and did a bit of 'load shedding' . It helped....really helped.
Just the other day, I was complaining about loneliness and not having any real friends. I was wrong. They are there.... just where I left them. This morning we took the first step towards bridging that gap. It was....how shall I put it? A piece of cake.....smooth, creamy and incredibly tasty.
I was lost. Lost in the nitty-gritty of humdrum existence. My happy, carefree and beautiful childhood cloaked under the shadow of growing up. Growing up, getting married and having a family took precedent over everything else. I was told---"This is what adults do." I believed and did the same.
Today has been a turning point in my life, and I recognize it. Real adults never sever ties. They carry forward with them the people who matter. I spoke to a long lost friend today and not surprisingly the connection was instant. Neither of us hesitant, we spoke for long hours. We laughed and joked and did a bit of 'load shedding' . It helped....really helped.
Just the other day, I was complaining about loneliness and not having any real friends. I was wrong. They are there.... just where I left them. This morning we took the first step towards bridging that gap. It was....how shall I put it? A piece of cake.....smooth, creamy and incredibly tasty.
Friday 13 March 2009
Short Story
Friday, 13 March 2009
SOUL-MATE
Bikram sat brooding, his mood as dark and murky as his coffee. Damn it! The coffee tasted bad. It was much too sweet. Pouring it down the drain, Bikram wondered how his life was in such a mess. What he had done so wrong, that his wife had to divorce him. He had long come to accept that there was no real love between them, but after so many years.....divorce. It just didn’t make sense. The problem with him, Bikram realised, was that just signing a scrap of paper did not undo anything. In fact it made it really hard for him to believe that he had been married to such a cold woman.
Now at the age of fifty, to start afresh, it seemed ridiculous. More importantly, he had forgotten how. The loneliness was hard too. The pitying looks from people, he couldn’t stand anymore. What was he to do with himself? Start life in a new place---run away from the situation. Money was not a problem, and Malini hadn’t asked for any. She was divorcing him because her way of life didn’t match his. She was a jet set lady with a great career and after the kids had grown up there was nothing to bind them together. She had different plans—plans that didn’t include him. So there! That was that.
Maybe he should take up the offer in Kolkata, after all.
A new life. How did one go about it?
Best to go along with the flow, he thought.
“Thank God, my mother isn’t alive to see his day. What would she say?” (“I told you not to marry her!” he knew).
He had met her in college, a wonderful, vibrant girl. The parents had objected to the match but the young couple had refused to budge.
The first few years had been bliss. Then the children had arrived one after the other. Life had taken on a different dimension. She had to take a break from her career, something she resented to this day.
His career as a marketing executive had its own demands. He would to be gone for half the month and Malini would have to cope alone with two school going children and her job. She refused to give up her job no matter what. This was the main bone of contention between them, then. He never understood why, she needed a career.
For Malini, the divorce was a must. It was the only solution. Over the years she had taken over the burden of running the show. Bikram was never around to help. As the years progressed, Bikram and she moved away from each other. They were at completely differently wave lengths. She learned to never depend on him. The children were in a boarding school and she visited them as often as she could. On long summer vacations, they would go away to exotic locations and the children never guessed the truth. It was like---- play acting. How long could you keep it up?
The fights had been getting worse over the years. Bikram expected companionship from her. She was just lost in her own world of friends and colleagues. Her work kept her late in office and Bikram couldn’t deal with it. He wanted to spend time with her as he now was not travelling so often. But for her it was too late. Lately, they had just stopped communicating. There were no fights, no explanations. Nothing at all. Under one roof they lived like strangers, each in his world.
In his new life, Bikram was slowly settling down. The new job and city did help. Actually, it was the anonymity that helped. He could start on a clean slate. Not many people knew him and for some time he preferred it that way. The children, both married and settled did not bother with him much. So long as he didn’t get in their way. Basically, he was on his own. Bikram was picking up the threads. He had help coming in to do the regular chores that took care of immediate problems like food, dishes and clothes. Slowly, also spring was returning.
Sitting on a beach in Digha, watching the sun go down, Bikram felt a sense of peace. What was it that was making him feel that way? He just could not put his finger on it. He waited patiently for the answer to come. He knew it would.
As he walked back to his room in the nearby hotel, which he had rented for the week, Bikram finally accepted that he had come to terms with his divorce. He was actually happy. He did not have to live a lie anymore. He was finally free. His marriage had been a habit, a routine, which even though did not give him any pleasure, he continued. Malini had set them free, free to live life the way you wanted to. She had saved them both. She had saved their marriage, not dissolved it.
As he walked into his room, he dialled Malini’s number. She picked it up on the second ring.
Friendly as ever, she chatted for a while. Promising to get together next time he was in Bangalore, she signed off. Bikram was at last happy. Tomorrow he would visit the unexplored part of Digha he had been putting off.
SOUL-MATE
Bikram sat brooding, his mood as dark and murky as his coffee. Damn it! The coffee tasted bad. It was much too sweet. Pouring it down the drain, Bikram wondered how his life was in such a mess. What he had done so wrong, that his wife had to divorce him. He had long come to accept that there was no real love between them, but after so many years.....divorce. It just didn’t make sense. The problem with him, Bikram realised, was that just signing a scrap of paper did not undo anything. In fact it made it really hard for him to believe that he had been married to such a cold woman.
Now at the age of fifty, to start afresh, it seemed ridiculous. More importantly, he had forgotten how. The loneliness was hard too. The pitying looks from people, he couldn’t stand anymore. What was he to do with himself? Start life in a new place---run away from the situation. Money was not a problem, and Malini hadn’t asked for any. She was divorcing him because her way of life didn’t match his. She was a jet set lady with a great career and after the kids had grown up there was nothing to bind them together. She had different plans—plans that didn’t include him. So there! That was that.
Maybe he should take up the offer in Kolkata, after all.
A new life. How did one go about it?
Best to go along with the flow, he thought.
“Thank God, my mother isn’t alive to see his day. What would she say?” (“I told you not to marry her!” he knew).
He had met her in college, a wonderful, vibrant girl. The parents had objected to the match but the young couple had refused to budge.
The first few years had been bliss. Then the children had arrived one after the other. Life had taken on a different dimension. She had to take a break from her career, something she resented to this day.
His career as a marketing executive had its own demands. He would to be gone for half the month and Malini would have to cope alone with two school going children and her job. She refused to give up her job no matter what. This was the main bone of contention between them, then. He never understood why, she needed a career.
For Malini, the divorce was a must. It was the only solution. Over the years she had taken over the burden of running the show. Bikram was never around to help. As the years progressed, Bikram and she moved away from each other. They were at completely differently wave lengths. She learned to never depend on him. The children were in a boarding school and she visited them as often as she could. On long summer vacations, they would go away to exotic locations and the children never guessed the truth. It was like---- play acting. How long could you keep it up?
The fights had been getting worse over the years. Bikram expected companionship from her. She was just lost in her own world of friends and colleagues. Her work kept her late in office and Bikram couldn’t deal with it. He wanted to spend time with her as he now was not travelling so often. But for her it was too late. Lately, they had just stopped communicating. There were no fights, no explanations. Nothing at all. Under one roof they lived like strangers, each in his world.
In his new life, Bikram was slowly settling down. The new job and city did help. Actually, it was the anonymity that helped. He could start on a clean slate. Not many people knew him and for some time he preferred it that way. The children, both married and settled did not bother with him much. So long as he didn’t get in their way. Basically, he was on his own. Bikram was picking up the threads. He had help coming in to do the regular chores that took care of immediate problems like food, dishes and clothes. Slowly, also spring was returning.
Sitting on a beach in Digha, watching the sun go down, Bikram felt a sense of peace. What was it that was making him feel that way? He just could not put his finger on it. He waited patiently for the answer to come. He knew it would.
As he walked back to his room in the nearby hotel, which he had rented for the week, Bikram finally accepted that he had come to terms with his divorce. He was actually happy. He did not have to live a lie anymore. He was finally free. His marriage had been a habit, a routine, which even though did not give him any pleasure, he continued. Malini had set them free, free to live life the way you wanted to. She had saved them both. She had saved their marriage, not dissolved it.
As he walked into his room, he dialled Malini’s number. She picked it up on the second ring.
Friendly as ever, she chatted for a while. Promising to get together next time he was in Bangalore, she signed off. Bikram was at last happy. Tomorrow he would visit the unexplored part of Digha he had been putting off.
Wednesday 4 March 2009
The Beauty Of A Rainbow.
It's strange, isn't it? The rainbow,I mean. Who would have thought , seven different colors sticking together could look so beautiful. But there it is. We all love the rainbow. Watching my daughter play in school, I was struck by a thought. There was a Chinese , an African, an Indian, a Pakistani , a British , a Russian and a Bangladeshi child all playing together.How colorful they looked! The perfect rainbow.
They didn't mind the difference in color or form or height. They just played with an abandon that would put to shame the countries they came from. Why can we not be like them? So many lessons these children could teach us. If only we took them seriously.
Remember, the story goes that at the end of the rainbow lies a pot of gold. If we could all just live together in peace and harmony , I think we would all reach that pot of gold. The rainbow is beautiful because the colors togeather form a band (of trust?) across the sky.
As I speak about the rainbow my daughter chirps," Momma , why don't we see the rainbow more often?"
Good question,don't you think so?
They didn't mind the difference in color or form or height. They just played with an abandon that would put to shame the countries they came from. Why can we not be like them? So many lessons these children could teach us. If only we took them seriously.
Remember, the story goes that at the end of the rainbow lies a pot of gold. If we could all just live together in peace and harmony , I think we would all reach that pot of gold. The rainbow is beautiful because the colors togeather form a band (of trust?) across the sky.
As I speak about the rainbow my daughter chirps," Momma , why don't we see the rainbow more often?"
Good question,don't you think so?
Monday 2 March 2009
Ammu get's Married.
Amrita Kundapurkar was 'Ammu ' at home. She lived in Bangalore, away from her home in Dharwad. She worked in an MNC, loved her job and was a complete control freak. She was a product of societies pressure to perform well consistently. No emotional mumbo - jumbo for her. Ammu didn't believe in 'love 'and considered marriage to be a stifling experience. Mr. and Mrs. Kundapurkar had very little hope of their daughter ever 'settling down'.
Today Ammu had taken extra care while dressing for work. An important client was expected and she had every intention of getting that account. Ambition was the fuel that egged her on. striding purposefully into her work area she immediately got to work. She checked and double checked graphs and slides that she needed to woo her client. There was no room for error.
It was an action packed day and by the time the client had left for dinner, the account was hers. After the initial wave of jubilation at her success , she felt sad and lonely. Tonight all her friends and colleagues had plans. Eating a meal all by herself didn't seem really inviting. Lately she had been feeling a little left out. People around her seemed to be busy with family or friends.
She often felt left out in conversations and had started avoiding invitations that involved family members.
As she reached home Ammu realised she needed a good night's sleep . But sleep refused to come. After tossing and turning the night away,Ammu decided she was over worked and needed a break.She called her mother to see if the next weekend would be convenient. Mrs. Kundapurkar was pleasantly surprised and again reminded Ammu ,she didn't need to check with her before coming home. It was her home and she could come anytime.
THE WEEKEND:
Ammu reached home in time for lunch. Amma had prepared all her favourites and soon Ammu was tucking in with relish. Amma wondered why Ammu was so quite. And WHAT, NO NAIL POLISH!! What ever was the matter? Later that night , mother and daughter sat talking in the veranda.
"Ammu , is something bothering you?" asked Amma
Ammu nodded in silence. Amma waited for her to open up. She did not want to push. Soon Ammu was crying and talking at the same time. Her mother did not understand much except that something terrible was upsetting her normally calm daughter. Ammu had to start from the beginning.
So finally Ammu was lonely!! Mrs. Kundapurkar was ecstatic.how she had waited for this day.She mentally promised a trip to Tirupati , if her wish was granted. Amma held her daughter close and once again quietly broached the topic of marriage.
"But I don't love anybody?"
"Silly girl! You think I loved you Daddy when I married him?"
"But you lived in a different era!!"
"Yes I did and I fell in love with the man I married and not the young boy he used to be. I am not forcing you. Just give it some thought".
Ammu sat late into the night , thinking.
THE WEDDING:
Ammu had finally given in. She was marrying Sunjay Kumar, also from Bangalore. Common relatives had set up the match and she knew Sunjay to be a sensible kind of guy, so why not? Ammu was exhausted with the preparations for the wedding and wanting desperately for it all to be over. Over bearing relatives, loud music, children running amok, gaudy clothes , heavy jewellery ,it was all to much for Ammu. She was high strung and irritated all through her wedding day.
Sunjay had made bookings at the Planters Club in Darjeeling for the honeymoon.He had liked Ammu's 'no nonsense' attitude and was sure he could break the wall that she had built around her. Darjeeling was a great success.They bonded emotionally and a friendship deep and strong emerged.They were like minded in most issues but there were enough differences to keep the marriage interesting.
BACK TO WORK:
They had settled into a blissful life. She looked upon Sunjay as her friend and confidant. But did she love him? She didn't know. They enjoyed their time together. A certain familiarity and respect grew. They got invited to parties as a couple and Ammu enjoyed the feeling of belonging. People at her work place were now seeing a new side to her, a soft feminine side, one they thought did not exist. Dinner's were never boring any more. She was soon the old talkative Amrita that her colleagues knew .
Every morning , as Sunjay left for work, he would say,"Love you Ammu. See you in the evening". But Ammu had never been able to respond in the same way. She had never been able to say 'love you too'. Now as see stood in the balcony, she could see Sunjay bending over and tying their neighbour's four year old son's shoe lace. Sunjay looked up and waved to Ammu. The Sun was shining and the light from his wristwatch reflected back at her. His smile was warm and welcoming as he tried to blind her with the reflection. At that moment , something happened. Ammu's breath caught in her throat. She knew instinctively what it was to be loved and to love someone with your heart and soul.
Ammu flew down the stairs two at a time, her hair a mess , framing her face. She rushed into Sunjay's open arms and softly whispered ," Love you too". It was the little boy who blushed and refused to look up from his shoes.
Today Ammu had taken extra care while dressing for work. An important client was expected and she had every intention of getting that account. Ambition was the fuel that egged her on. striding purposefully into her work area she immediately got to work. She checked and double checked graphs and slides that she needed to woo her client. There was no room for error.
It was an action packed day and by the time the client had left for dinner, the account was hers. After the initial wave of jubilation at her success , she felt sad and lonely. Tonight all her friends and colleagues had plans. Eating a meal all by herself didn't seem really inviting. Lately she had been feeling a little left out. People around her seemed to be busy with family or friends.
She often felt left out in conversations and had started avoiding invitations that involved family members.
As she reached home Ammu realised she needed a good night's sleep . But sleep refused to come. After tossing and turning the night away,Ammu decided she was over worked and needed a break.She called her mother to see if the next weekend would be convenient. Mrs. Kundapurkar was pleasantly surprised and again reminded Ammu ,she didn't need to check with her before coming home. It was her home and she could come anytime.
THE WEEKEND:
Ammu reached home in time for lunch. Amma had prepared all her favourites and soon Ammu was tucking in with relish. Amma wondered why Ammu was so quite. And WHAT, NO NAIL POLISH!! What ever was the matter? Later that night , mother and daughter sat talking in the veranda.
"Ammu , is something bothering you?" asked Amma
Ammu nodded in silence. Amma waited for her to open up. She did not want to push. Soon Ammu was crying and talking at the same time. Her mother did not understand much except that something terrible was upsetting her normally calm daughter. Ammu had to start from the beginning.
So finally Ammu was lonely!! Mrs. Kundapurkar was ecstatic.how she had waited for this day.She mentally promised a trip to Tirupati , if her wish was granted. Amma held her daughter close and once again quietly broached the topic of marriage.
"But I don't love anybody?"
"Silly girl! You think I loved you Daddy when I married him?"
"But you lived in a different era!!"
"Yes I did and I fell in love with the man I married and not the young boy he used to be. I am not forcing you. Just give it some thought".
Ammu sat late into the night , thinking.
THE WEDDING:
Ammu had finally given in. She was marrying Sunjay Kumar, also from Bangalore. Common relatives had set up the match and she knew Sunjay to be a sensible kind of guy, so why not? Ammu was exhausted with the preparations for the wedding and wanting desperately for it all to be over. Over bearing relatives, loud music, children running amok, gaudy clothes , heavy jewellery ,it was all to much for Ammu. She was high strung and irritated all through her wedding day.
Sunjay had made bookings at the Planters Club in Darjeeling for the honeymoon.He had liked Ammu's 'no nonsense' attitude and was sure he could break the wall that she had built around her. Darjeeling was a great success.They bonded emotionally and a friendship deep and strong emerged.They were like minded in most issues but there were enough differences to keep the marriage interesting.
BACK TO WORK:
They had settled into a blissful life. She looked upon Sunjay as her friend and confidant. But did she love him? She didn't know. They enjoyed their time together. A certain familiarity and respect grew. They got invited to parties as a couple and Ammu enjoyed the feeling of belonging. People at her work place were now seeing a new side to her, a soft feminine side, one they thought did not exist. Dinner's were never boring any more. She was soon the old talkative Amrita that her colleagues knew .
Every morning , as Sunjay left for work, he would say,"Love you Ammu. See you in the evening". But Ammu had never been able to respond in the same way. She had never been able to say 'love you too'. Now as see stood in the balcony, she could see Sunjay bending over and tying their neighbour's four year old son's shoe lace. Sunjay looked up and waved to Ammu. The Sun was shining and the light from his wristwatch reflected back at her. His smile was warm and welcoming as he tried to blind her with the reflection. At that moment , something happened. Ammu's breath caught in her throat. She knew instinctively what it was to be loved and to love someone with your heart and soul.
Ammu flew down the stairs two at a time, her hair a mess , framing her face. She rushed into Sunjay's open arms and softly whispered ," Love you too". It was the little boy who blushed and refused to look up from his shoes.
Tuesday 24 February 2009
Making Choices.
Being the youngest in the family does have it's drawbacks. I can hardly remember my early childhood. My first memories are of age four or five. I can't remember anything about those first few years. I know of people , who remember their kindergarten teacher. As for me , all I remember is a room full of crying children , including me. But the reason I was crying was because the teacher was crushing me to her ample bosom,cooing ,"Don't cry baby."
I was always protected . My mother, father and sister always kept me away from any situation, good or bad. I just , sort of floated along with them , doing the things they did or doing the things they expected me to do. It was not bad, really. But in the bargain , I just never grew out of my cocoon. Well ,you could say , I was molly coddled , but in a nice way.
Only when my sister was married and gone did I get to experience life , in reality. I started making choices ,something I had never done before. One of the first ones was giving up fish. I had never liked eating fish but would continue to do so merely because my mother commented, " Who's heard of a Bengali not eating fish?" Making choices is an important part of growing up. I insisted on having omelette's instead of boiled eggs and surprisingly my mother gave in. I am not sure what it was, but maybe because I was the only one around she didn't think I was the younger one any more.
It took me a long time to open my wings and fly steadily. I bumped a number of times but got back on track and continued . I think my parents were shocked too. I was a very average student in school, but by the time I was in college, I was doing very well. I had realised my potential and made the most of it. I continued to make choices and face the consequences that resulted from them. This taught me to make good choices.
As the years have gone by, I realise I have been living life on my terms . I am now a mother and constantly try to not molly coddle her. I need my child to be sharp and a go-getter of her dreams. Though I am going to make sure I can influence her dreams. At least until she dreams the right dreams.
I was always protected . My mother, father and sister always kept me away from any situation, good or bad. I just , sort of floated along with them , doing the things they did or doing the things they expected me to do. It was not bad, really. But in the bargain , I just never grew out of my cocoon. Well ,you could say , I was molly coddled , but in a nice way.
Only when my sister was married and gone did I get to experience life , in reality. I started making choices ,something I had never done before. One of the first ones was giving up fish. I had never liked eating fish but would continue to do so merely because my mother commented, " Who's heard of a Bengali not eating fish?" Making choices is an important part of growing up. I insisted on having omelette's instead of boiled eggs and surprisingly my mother gave in. I am not sure what it was, but maybe because I was the only one around she didn't think I was the younger one any more.
It took me a long time to open my wings and fly steadily. I bumped a number of times but got back on track and continued . I think my parents were shocked too. I was a very average student in school, but by the time I was in college, I was doing very well. I had realised my potential and made the most of it. I continued to make choices and face the consequences that resulted from them. This taught me to make good choices.
As the years have gone by, I realise I have been living life on my terms . I am now a mother and constantly try to not molly coddle her. I need my child to be sharp and a go-getter of her dreams. Though I am going to make sure I can influence her dreams. At least until she dreams the right dreams.
Thursday 12 February 2009
Simple Truth's
During a particularly difficult phase in my life , I came across the benefits of meditation. I was introduced to it by an aunt and ever since I have never looked back. I have read voraciously and finally found what it takes to have peace of mind. Now I am addicted to it. It has in every sense helped to make my life simple and easy. I have more patience today . I have learnt to trust life and basically I am a better person today than I was some years back.
I always believed (wrongly) that for meditation I would need to have a blank mind. That in itself seemed a daunting task. I now know other wise. You see, your mind is not meant to be empty. It cannot be a vacuum, that's against the law of the Universe. Your mind is like the wind or the water, constantly flowing and gathering. Meditation is focusing.Focusing on a particular thought or mantra or even an object like an idol.
There are mental barriers you have to be overcome to follow this through. It should be a part of your daily routine like brushing your teeth in the morning. It's not necessary to do your meditation in the morning before the sun is up. You can do it any time of day or night. But it is good to establish a routine. Meditation and Creative Visualization have a lot in common. Both focus on the well being of the individual.
Life has three basic levels--Being,Doing and Having. They are never in conflict with each other. They exist together. Being happy is the final motive of any human,but we often struggle with it. The reason is--we do it backwards.We try to 'Have' more so that we 'Do' more so that we can 'Be' more happy. The way it actually works is ....you must first 'Be' happy with what you are,with what you have. This helps you to 'Do' more or gain more and this in turn will make you 'Have' more or help you get what you want.
These are simple truths that have helped me over the years.
I always believed (wrongly) that for meditation I would need to have a blank mind. That in itself seemed a daunting task. I now know other wise. You see, your mind is not meant to be empty. It cannot be a vacuum, that's against the law of the Universe. Your mind is like the wind or the water, constantly flowing and gathering. Meditation is focusing.Focusing on a particular thought or mantra or even an object like an idol.
There are mental barriers you have to be overcome to follow this through. It should be a part of your daily routine like brushing your teeth in the morning. It's not necessary to do your meditation in the morning before the sun is up. You can do it any time of day or night. But it is good to establish a routine. Meditation and Creative Visualization have a lot in common. Both focus on the well being of the individual.
Life has three basic levels--Being,Doing and Having. They are never in conflict with each other. They exist together. Being happy is the final motive of any human,but we often struggle with it. The reason is--we do it backwards.We try to 'Have' more so that we 'Do' more so that we can 'Be' more happy. The way it actually works is ....you must first 'Be' happy with what you are,with what you have. This helps you to 'Do' more or gain more and this in turn will make you 'Have' more or help you get what you want.
These are simple truths that have helped me over the years.
Friday 6 February 2009
Hello! Wake-Up!!
In today's fast paced life , I wonder how many youngster's are really 'in love'. Looking back over the years , my first love (and the last one) was the person I married, am still married to and hopefully will be married to until I die. That was the way in my day and age. And I am not that old ! Now, I believe the rules are pretty different. Children seem to be dating a lot more and some seem to continue doing that all their life. I think, they need a reality check. "Hello! Wake up! There is no Mr(s) . Perfect".
The list of ,'Wants' for today's youngsters , male and female, could probably run into a few pages. On the other hand, the list of ,'Gives' is unfortunately very limited. There is absolutely no balance. The modern man, willing to settle down , wants his partner to be a 'complete' woman. By that he means, she should be pretty, earning a good salary, should be a good cook , a good mother , an excellent host (to his friends) , a good companion and to top all this,he wants to be the 'man' of the house. He needs a robot not a wife.
It's not any different for the woman either. She expects her man to be able to cook a meal, look after the kids when necessary, cleaning house should be a dual responsibility, expensive holidays abroad (a must) and must not go crazy if he finds her having a meal with a male colleague. She must to be allowed to have late nights, just like him. Equality, you see!!
I do not disagree with either of them . But what do they have to offer in return. A chaotic life , I think. Each comes and goes as and when required. They meet on weekends and food is usually a take away. In this confusion ,the children suffer. So in come 'the in-laws'. Nothing could please them more than taking care of their grand children. I know of a couple , whose parents took turns coming down to look after the child because she refused to give up her job. And living in different cities did not make it easier on the old parents.
I, however also know of couples who have made this formula work. They have wonderful children and they lead full , normal lives. Here I think it's important to mention that the woman did a lot more than the man (especially true in Indian houses). I choose to be a stay at home mom. My home is a sanctuary for me, my child and my busy husband. My husband often says that he waits to get home, away from the madness at his work place. That's my reward. Our home is a wonderful place full of happiness and joy and peace. I work damn hard to keep it that way.
The list of ,'Wants' for today's youngsters , male and female, could probably run into a few pages. On the other hand, the list of ,'Gives' is unfortunately very limited. There is absolutely no balance. The modern man, willing to settle down , wants his partner to be a 'complete' woman. By that he means, she should be pretty, earning a good salary, should be a good cook , a good mother , an excellent host (to his friends) , a good companion and to top all this,he wants to be the 'man' of the house. He needs a robot not a wife.
It's not any different for the woman either. She expects her man to be able to cook a meal, look after the kids when necessary, cleaning house should be a dual responsibility, expensive holidays abroad (a must) and must not go crazy if he finds her having a meal with a male colleague. She must to be allowed to have late nights, just like him. Equality, you see!!
I do not disagree with either of them . But what do they have to offer in return. A chaotic life , I think. Each comes and goes as and when required. They meet on weekends and food is usually a take away. In this confusion ,the children suffer. So in come 'the in-laws'. Nothing could please them more than taking care of their grand children. I know of a couple , whose parents took turns coming down to look after the child because she refused to give up her job. And living in different cities did not make it easier on the old parents.
I, however also know of couples who have made this formula work. They have wonderful children and they lead full , normal lives. Here I think it's important to mention that the woman did a lot more than the man (especially true in Indian houses). I choose to be a stay at home mom. My home is a sanctuary for me, my child and my busy husband. My husband often says that he waits to get home, away from the madness at his work place. That's my reward. Our home is a wonderful place full of happiness and joy and peace. I work damn hard to keep it that way.
Tuesday 3 February 2009
Lesson's In Life.
This morning I got up on the wrong side of the bed. Has it ever happened to you? For no particular reason I was cross with everybody. The sad part is, I know that it's no body's fault ,but still. I try to vent my anger at my daughter or husband and they stare at me because they are not aware that anything is wrong. My daughter asks me, " Are u angry with me Mamma?" I did not know what to answer her. Had I answered in the affirmative , I did not have a valid reason to give her. And she is not one to accept something without sound reasoning. So there, I was stuck.
Anyhow, I got through the morning and after the two had left home I sat down to analyse the situation. What was I so angry about? Funnily enough, I didn't really know. But I do not easily give up.So I sat down and combed every incident in the last few day's that could have triggered of this abominate behaviour. And guess what......I found the reason. It was a small insignificant incident. I was pretty much upset with my behaviour (with my family). That is anger, futile and misguided anger.
I realise now, how anger can ruin my life. This is a small incident but what if it blew into something big. Anger can disrupt and wash away all that u have been trying to build. Why do we not question before we say something hurtful to someone? Why do we take for granted the wonderful people in our lives?
I have learnt from my mistake. I now take care to keep my anger in check and not let the wrong people bear the brunt of it. They are the people I love and they deserve better than this.
Anyhow, I got through the morning and after the two had left home I sat down to analyse the situation. What was I so angry about? Funnily enough, I didn't really know. But I do not easily give up.So I sat down and combed every incident in the last few day's that could have triggered of this abominate behaviour. And guess what......I found the reason. It was a small insignificant incident. I was pretty much upset with my behaviour (with my family). That is anger, futile and misguided anger.
I realise now, how anger can ruin my life. This is a small incident but what if it blew into something big. Anger can disrupt and wash away all that u have been trying to build. Why do we not question before we say something hurtful to someone? Why do we take for granted the wonderful people in our lives?
I have learnt from my mistake. I now take care to keep my anger in check and not let the wrong people bear the brunt of it. They are the people I love and they deserve better than this.
Monday 2 February 2009
A Simple Life.
When I was in school ,we had a routine every Monday morning. It was called 'Thought of the Week.' In grade nine I came across this 'thought ' that has stuck with me all these years. It said, ' Success in life comes not from doing extraordinary things but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well'. I have tried to live my life on this principle. Believe me, it's tougher than it sounds.
The toughest job in this respect I think, is in being a good and kind human being. I am not perfect and I don't claim to be so ,but I do really put in the effort to look beyond petty stuff. I think it comes with practice. The difficulty is in starting off and learning to look beyond the 'Self'. There is always someone out there who is worse off than you. So be happy or at least try to be happy with what u have. Have you ever tried giving without expecting anything in return?
I learnt Braille and volunteered my services to some visually impaired students. I made audio cassettes of their text books. This enabled them to hear their book repeatedly and do well in exams. I am glad that they did well and moved on in life. The whole experience was awesome. Be glad that you have all your faculties intact. People out there have to over come much more than you can ever imagine. Life is much more tough out there.
Meditation has helped me a lot. It gives me the strength to be grounded and to stay satisfied with life. It is a wonderful tool which can help you really see the world in a completely different perspective. Success will come to you naturally if you are one with yourself.
The toughest job in this respect I think, is in being a good and kind human being. I am not perfect and I don't claim to be so ,but I do really put in the effort to look beyond petty stuff. I think it comes with practice. The difficulty is in starting off and learning to look beyond the 'Self'. There is always someone out there who is worse off than you. So be happy or at least try to be happy with what u have. Have you ever tried giving without expecting anything in return?
I learnt Braille and volunteered my services to some visually impaired students. I made audio cassettes of their text books. This enabled them to hear their book repeatedly and do well in exams. I am glad that they did well and moved on in life. The whole experience was awesome. Be glad that you have all your faculties intact. People out there have to over come much more than you can ever imagine. Life is much more tough out there.
Meditation has helped me a lot. It gives me the strength to be grounded and to stay satisfied with life. It is a wonderful tool which can help you really see the world in a completely different perspective. Success will come to you naturally if you are one with yourself.
Friday 30 January 2009
Self Worth--Worth Having.
A friend once asked me, "What do you value most in life?" "Life itself", probably would have been the right response. This is especially true in my case. People who have known me would understand why I would choose such a response. After giving it some thought I said,"My sense of self worth."
The reason I think , I chose self worth is because this is the value that has pushed me into evolving into a more confident human being. Having a sense of worth is paramount to any happy relationship. I am not talking about earning in materialistic terms. I am talking (well, in fact writing) about how happy and satisfied you are deep within. Do you need a pay-cheque at the end of a month to prove to yourself that you have self worth? Is there nothing else in your life you have to show for? Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with earning (and you should if you have the potential )a good pay packet at the end of each month. But that alone does not equate with self worth. Money and materialistic gains will help you get there but it is not the only ingredient .
Self worth gave me the impetus to fight disease and get back to a normal life. It is a very prominent feature in all my day to day tasks. True , I don't need to earn my living but i provide my husband with the support that his career demands. And he appreciates that fact completely.My self worth pushes me to inculcate the same values in my daughter, though it is an up hill task. I never give up a fight that I believe in. Again this is my self worth asserting itself. For me self worth is about being a well rounded individual.
Writing this blog , for instance, has given me a platform to prove to myself that I can put words together to make an interesting read. I just learnt that my cousin( who has a three year old) has enrolled for higher studies. Now that is SELF WORTH. It will always push you to learn more ,experience more and live a fuller life.
The reason I think , I chose self worth is because this is the value that has pushed me into evolving into a more confident human being. Having a sense of worth is paramount to any happy relationship. I am not talking about earning in materialistic terms. I am talking (well, in fact writing) about how happy and satisfied you are deep within. Do you need a pay-cheque at the end of a month to prove to yourself that you have self worth? Is there nothing else in your life you have to show for? Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with earning (and you should if you have the potential )a good pay packet at the end of each month. But that alone does not equate with self worth. Money and materialistic gains will help you get there but it is not the only ingredient .
Self worth gave me the impetus to fight disease and get back to a normal life. It is a very prominent feature in all my day to day tasks. True , I don't need to earn my living but i provide my husband with the support that his career demands. And he appreciates that fact completely.My self worth pushes me to inculcate the same values in my daughter, though it is an up hill task. I never give up a fight that I believe in. Again this is my self worth asserting itself. For me self worth is about being a well rounded individual.
Writing this blog , for instance, has given me a platform to prove to myself that I can put words together to make an interesting read. I just learnt that my cousin( who has a three year old) has enrolled for higher studies. Now that is SELF WORTH. It will always push you to learn more ,experience more and live a fuller life.
Wednesday 28 January 2009
A NEW DAY--EVERYDAY
This is a small something I wrote a few months back when I was feeling particularly low.
A New Day
A new day begins--golden,bright and clear.
Forget the past--that part is lost.
Start Again.
Let's begin at the beginning
Bonding,holding hands forever.
Like the mighty sea wave,
gathering our successes,
washing away our failures.
Walk with me,be by my side,
let's face the world together.
Be calm,be strong,be sure
for now we have each other.
Gather memories,some sweet ,some bitter,
for life is both ,a balance Divine.
Move forward,fear not the future,
for on the horizon far
I see the sun shining bright.
A New Day
A new day begins--golden,bright and clear.
Forget the past--that part is lost.
Start Again.
Let's begin at the beginning
Bonding,holding hands forever.
Like the mighty sea wave,
gathering our successes,
washing away our failures.
Walk with me,be by my side,
let's face the world together.
Be calm,be strong,be sure
for now we have each other.
Gather memories,some sweet ,some bitter,
for life is both ,a balance Divine.
Move forward,fear not the future,
for on the horizon far
I see the sun shining bright.
Tuesday 27 January 2009
I like reading,what about you?
I am not a writer.I don't have a way with words.And I don't know how to make a story interesting. But I do read a lot. This has given me a wild imagination and I love to Plot (Did u notice the capital 'P'). Often when I am by myself, I go into my secret world ,the world of imagination. And there you will find me happily plotting away.
Actually we are a family of readers. My parents, my sister and me,we all read a lot.I have found it to be a fantastic reprieve from daily ,humdrum, mundane matters. Nothing pleases me more than curling up with a book (Especially thrillers). On bitterly cold days you would find me completely happy with a cup of tea and a book. No complaints there.I can read a book from cover to cover in one sitting. That rarely happens though.Usually, my daughter or my husband or the phone will disturb me. At these times ,a book-mark helps.(I hate dog earring books and am pretty bad at remembering numbers).
I love the library system in Leeds. You can pick 20 books per person for a period of 3 weeks . It's all computerised and there is no check out counter . You put the books under the scanner and the computer will generate a receipt with your card number and details. While returning the books,you do the same except that the receipt will say "Thank you for returning the books".
I am now reading Jeffery Deaver.I liked his style of writing. His book 'Twisted' is really good.
Actually we are a family of readers. My parents, my sister and me,we all read a lot.I have found it to be a fantastic reprieve from daily ,humdrum, mundane matters. Nothing pleases me more than curling up with a book (Especially thrillers). On bitterly cold days you would find me completely happy with a cup of tea and a book. No complaints there.I can read a book from cover to cover in one sitting. That rarely happens though.Usually, my daughter or my husband or the phone will disturb me. At these times ,a book-mark helps.(I hate dog earring books and am pretty bad at remembering numbers).
I love the library system in Leeds. You can pick 20 books per person for a period of 3 weeks . It's all computerised and there is no check out counter . You put the books under the scanner and the computer will generate a receipt with your card number and details. While returning the books,you do the same except that the receipt will say "Thank you for returning the books".
I am now reading Jeffery Deaver.I liked his style of writing. His book 'Twisted' is really good.
Thursday 22 January 2009
"The Winner"----A Short Story.
Shondha hurried out of the bath hearing the pealing door bell.
"GOD! Not a moment's peace". she muttered.
The door bell sounded again as Sondha hurriedly put on a kaftan.She tried to get a glimpse of the man through the eye-hole.In the semi darkness of the corridor , she did not recognize the face and wondered of she should open the door at all.
"Hi Shondha". came a voice from the darkness.
The voice sounded vaguely familiar.NO.....no, it couldn't be! Not after so many years.
"Aditya...is that you?"Shondha was stunned.
She opened the door and stared at the man with salt and pepper hair.Twenty years had changed him a lot.He seemed heavier and he slumped a bit. Asking him to take a seat , she moved into the kitchen, "I'll get us some tea".
With him in the same room ,she felt claustrophobic and needed a moment to catch her breath.
Alone in the living room, Aditya looked around him. A comfortable space done up in bright colors. The room had a distinctive Indianess and warmth to it.There was a pile of books and papers on the table in front of him. The photograph of a young girl in her teens hugging Shondha dominated the room. He scoured the room for any more photo's. There were none. Shondha he noticed had put on some weight and her hair was done differently. But she was still beautiful. Her doe eyes and creamy complexion were still intact.
In the kitchen,fighting the emotional turmoil she vowed to deal with the situation in a calm and collected manner.In the living room,she offered him the tea and sitting down asked, "So,what's bought you to Kolkata?"
"Nothing.just wanted to catch up on old times".
Shondha nodded as her mind went into flashback. Twenty years ago they had been married for a brief period. Painful memories flooded back. The rejection and humiliation buried deep within came back in a flash.
Shondha had been 21 then,a good looking and carefree girl.Her parents had forced her to consider marriage 'as an engineer settled abroad' was a good catch. They had been married within a month.
Her dreams had been shattered soon after the ceremony. Aditya made it very clear that he had no intention of taking her back with him. He had Janice there--his live in partner.Shondha had been devastated. She needed to think and re plan her whole life.She also knew that her parents would demand an immediate divorce and another marriage had they known the truth. Marriage had left a bitter taste in her mouth and she was not about to forget it easily. Her aim now was to be independent and live life on her terms.
Divorce was obviously the only option and she took it. She picked up the strings of her life by enrolling for higher studies. Her parents had been dumb struck by her grown up attitude but this time they did not interfere.They felt guilty and responsible for the mess Shondha was in. Shondha worked hard. She was a teacher during the day and took classes at night to further her degrees.Soon her hard work was paying off.Better opportunities were coming her way. She was financially secure and doing well professionally.Currently she was the HOD for LITERATURE in a well known college.Two years back she had inherited her parents home and money giving her a comfortable life.Shondha was happy with the way her life had taken shape. Seeing Aditya had shaken her up. She hated not having complete control of her life.
Now, she noticed Aditya looking at Purva's photo.Should She tell him about Purva? No, she decided. Purva had nothing to do with him. Purva was part of her life, her present and her future.
"How's Janice?" Shondha asked.
"We separated last year".Aditya answered looking at the geometric design on the carpet.
"I'm sorry to hear that. Any children?".
"Will you forgive me ,for everything?" Aditya blurted out.
"I've learnt to live in the present,Aditya.Forget the past".
"Janice left me for a younger man,I don't have a present".said a sad Aditya.
A very embarrassing silence ensued until thankfully the door bell was pealing again.Shondha opened the door and Aditya watched as the young girl from the photograph entered the room.
"Hi Maa. I'm so hungry. Can we ......Oh! sorry." Purva had just noticed a stranger in their room.
Shondha introduced them.
"Aditya this is my daughter ,Purva."
Purva said a quick hello and excused herself from the room.
"So you remarried?" almost accusingly Aditya questioned.
"No Aditya , I did not."
"Then Purva....."
"I adopted her when she was four months old".
Aditya just stared.A new respect crept into his eyes.He looked away.Here was Shondha,so confident and courageous. A woman who had moulded not only her life but another one as well.She had emerged the winner.He had lost. Janice had left him like he had left Shondha.....without an anchor. He had hit rock bottom.
"It's time for me to go now".
"Yes,Aditya it's time".
Shondha quietly opened the door and watched as Aditya faded away into the darkness....once again.
"GOD! Not a moment's peace". she muttered.
The door bell sounded again as Sondha hurriedly put on a kaftan.She tried to get a glimpse of the man through the eye-hole.In the semi darkness of the corridor , she did not recognize the face and wondered of she should open the door at all.
"Hi Shondha". came a voice from the darkness.
The voice sounded vaguely familiar.NO.....no, it couldn't be! Not after so many years.
"Aditya...is that you?"Shondha was stunned.
She opened the door and stared at the man with salt and pepper hair.Twenty years had changed him a lot.He seemed heavier and he slumped a bit. Asking him to take a seat , she moved into the kitchen, "I'll get us some tea".
With him in the same room ,she felt claustrophobic and needed a moment to catch her breath.
Alone in the living room, Aditya looked around him. A comfortable space done up in bright colors. The room had a distinctive Indianess and warmth to it.There was a pile of books and papers on the table in front of him. The photograph of a young girl in her teens hugging Shondha dominated the room. He scoured the room for any more photo's. There were none. Shondha he noticed had put on some weight and her hair was done differently. But she was still beautiful. Her doe eyes and creamy complexion were still intact.
In the kitchen,fighting the emotional turmoil she vowed to deal with the situation in a calm and collected manner.In the living room,she offered him the tea and sitting down asked, "So,what's bought you to Kolkata?"
"Nothing.just wanted to catch up on old times".
Shondha nodded as her mind went into flashback. Twenty years ago they had been married for a brief period. Painful memories flooded back. The rejection and humiliation buried deep within came back in a flash.
Shondha had been 21 then,a good looking and carefree girl.Her parents had forced her to consider marriage 'as an engineer settled abroad' was a good catch. They had been married within a month.
Her dreams had been shattered soon after the ceremony. Aditya made it very clear that he had no intention of taking her back with him. He had Janice there--his live in partner.Shondha had been devastated. She needed to think and re plan her whole life.She also knew that her parents would demand an immediate divorce and another marriage had they known the truth. Marriage had left a bitter taste in her mouth and she was not about to forget it easily. Her aim now was to be independent and live life on her terms.
Divorce was obviously the only option and she took it. She picked up the strings of her life by enrolling for higher studies. Her parents had been dumb struck by her grown up attitude but this time they did not interfere.They felt guilty and responsible for the mess Shondha was in. Shondha worked hard. She was a teacher during the day and took classes at night to further her degrees.Soon her hard work was paying off.Better opportunities were coming her way. She was financially secure and doing well professionally.Currently she was the HOD for LITERATURE in a well known college.Two years back she had inherited her parents home and money giving her a comfortable life.Shondha was happy with the way her life had taken shape. Seeing Aditya had shaken her up. She hated not having complete control of her life.
Now, she noticed Aditya looking at Purva's photo.Should She tell him about Purva? No, she decided. Purva had nothing to do with him. Purva was part of her life, her present and her future.
"How's Janice?" Shondha asked.
"We separated last year".Aditya answered looking at the geometric design on the carpet.
"I'm sorry to hear that. Any children?".
"Will you forgive me ,for everything?" Aditya blurted out.
"I've learnt to live in the present,Aditya.Forget the past".
"Janice left me for a younger man,I don't have a present".said a sad Aditya.
A very embarrassing silence ensued until thankfully the door bell was pealing again.Shondha opened the door and Aditya watched as the young girl from the photograph entered the room.
"Hi Maa. I'm so hungry. Can we ......Oh! sorry." Purva had just noticed a stranger in their room.
Shondha introduced them.
"Aditya this is my daughter ,Purva."
Purva said a quick hello and excused herself from the room.
"So you remarried?" almost accusingly Aditya questioned.
"No Aditya , I did not."
"Then Purva....."
"I adopted her when she was four months old".
Aditya just stared.A new respect crept into his eyes.He looked away.Here was Shondha,so confident and courageous. A woman who had moulded not only her life but another one as well.She had emerged the winner.He had lost. Janice had left him like he had left Shondha.....without an anchor. He had hit rock bottom.
"It's time for me to go now".
"Yes,Aditya it's time".
Shondha quietly opened the door and watched as Aditya faded away into the darkness....once again.
Wednesday 21 January 2009
It's the little things in life that matter.
Have you ever tried to count the blessings in your life? Yesterday I did. The weather was gloomy and it had a similar effect on me. I was cribbing about the things I did not have when a thought struck me. What do I have that I can be happy about? So I sat down with paper and pencil and made a list.
Surprisingly it went on and on. I have so much to be grateful for. It made me see things with a new perspective. Like I had put on new glasses. The person in the mirror was the same but still looked different. We often forget (like I did) to look at the things we have. I am not talking big expensive materialistic possessions, but the small often overlooked blessings.
My parents have just moved into their new home. Thankfully everything has gone according to plan without any kind of casualty. I was worried sick because I was not there to help them. But family and friends pitched in to make this possible.
My husband is secure in his work place and has not been affected in any way in the present economic scenario.
All my family and friends enjoy good health and often when I call them I am so glad to hear them laugh and to be able laugh with them.
My daughter has settled down so well and so quick in this new country .She enjoys school and has many new friends.She is truly happy.
As i went to pick up my daughter after school yesterday , she came running out of her class , hugged me and presented me with a small crushed flower.
"Ma this is for you".
"Thank u , baby".
"I found it during play hour and kept it safely in my pocket for u".
What more can I say.I am blessed to have a little Angel in my life.
Last Saturday we had gone out shopping groceries, when hubby suddenly vanished leaving my daughter and me wondering where he had gone off to. After a good 15 minute wait I see him returning , his arms full of .....no not roses,but granola bar packets. There was this sheepish grin on his face that I shall always carry close to my heart.I love these bars, so noticing an offer on them he went out and purchased 10 packets. Each packet has 6 bars. That's 60 of them.
I am truly blessed.
Surprisingly it went on and on. I have so much to be grateful for. It made me see things with a new perspective. Like I had put on new glasses. The person in the mirror was the same but still looked different. We often forget (like I did) to look at the things we have. I am not talking big expensive materialistic possessions, but the small often overlooked blessings.
My parents have just moved into their new home. Thankfully everything has gone according to plan without any kind of casualty. I was worried sick because I was not there to help them. But family and friends pitched in to make this possible.
My husband is secure in his work place and has not been affected in any way in the present economic scenario.
All my family and friends enjoy good health and often when I call them I am so glad to hear them laugh and to be able laugh with them.
My daughter has settled down so well and so quick in this new country .She enjoys school and has many new friends.She is truly happy.
As i went to pick up my daughter after school yesterday , she came running out of her class , hugged me and presented me with a small crushed flower.
"Ma this is for you".
"Thank u , baby".
"I found it during play hour and kept it safely in my pocket for u".
What more can I say.I am blessed to have a little Angel in my life.
Last Saturday we had gone out shopping groceries, when hubby suddenly vanished leaving my daughter and me wondering where he had gone off to. After a good 15 minute wait I see him returning , his arms full of .....no not roses,but granola bar packets. There was this sheepish grin on his face that I shall always carry close to my heart.I love these bars, so noticing an offer on them he went out and purchased 10 packets. Each packet has 6 bars. That's 60 of them.
I am truly blessed.
Tuesday 20 January 2009
Growing up with BOITHOKI.
BOITHOKI. The mere mention of this word conjures up images of good food.For those who don't know it's a club,of Bengali's in Pune, who met up every 3 weeks for good fun and without doubt, good food. There used to be some 35 odd members who started this group in the late 60's. My parents were part of it. As i was born in '73 I automatically grew up among these people. Surprisingly , a number of it's members had children in the same year. So In 1973 Boithok's strenght grew as it started accommodating new members. Looking back, I can safely say Boithoki was a major influence in my life. Some of my best and closest friends are still from this group. Boithoki has always given me a sense of 'belonging'.
There were five major groups in Boithoki. The father's sat together in the same room with the mother's but somehow there used to be a clear demarcation in territory. Next came older sibling group .All of us had older brother's or sister's. They kind of looked down their noses at us and we were seldom allowed to be in their group. The next was my group. We were the 'chillerpatti', if u know what I mean. But that changed as time went by. Some of the younger couples now had children and suddenly we were promoted.The toddlers now became the 'chillerpatti'.
We celebrated all the festivals in the Hindu calender and never missed the opportunity to celebrate New Year together. My best picnics have been with this group.The father's cooked (for a change) and the mother's sat back relaxing and enjoying the day. The picnics always ended with a game.I can still see all of us sitting under trees with a scrap of paper, cancelling the numbers being called out, hoping to win the,'jaldi five' or 'first row'. We have taken part in plays and dance dramas, performed in front of huge audiences and won accolades for the performance. Even our parents have put up grand shows and there was a time when all the Bengali's in Pune who attended the Congress Bhawan Durga Puja (and I am sure many more)knew Boithoki.Such was it's fame.
I could go on writing forever but duty calls , so I end this with a hope that somehow,someday I am able to provide my daughter with the same sense of 'belonging'.
There were five major groups in Boithoki. The father's sat together in the same room with the mother's but somehow there used to be a clear demarcation in territory. Next came older sibling group .All of us had older brother's or sister's. They kind of looked down their noses at us and we were seldom allowed to be in their group. The next was my group. We were the 'chillerpatti', if u know what I mean. But that changed as time went by. Some of the younger couples now had children and suddenly we were promoted.The toddlers now became the 'chillerpatti'.
We celebrated all the festivals in the Hindu calender and never missed the opportunity to celebrate New Year together. My best picnics have been with this group.The father's cooked (for a change) and the mother's sat back relaxing and enjoying the day. The picnics always ended with a game.I can still see all of us sitting under trees with a scrap of paper, cancelling the numbers being called out, hoping to win the,'jaldi five' or 'first row'. We have taken part in plays and dance dramas, performed in front of huge audiences and won accolades for the performance. Even our parents have put up grand shows and there was a time when all the Bengali's in Pune who attended the Congress Bhawan Durga Puja (and I am sure many more)knew Boithoki.Such was it's fame.
I could go on writing forever but duty calls , so I end this with a hope that somehow,someday I am able to provide my daughter with the same sense of 'belonging'.
Monday 19 January 2009
Double celebrations!
It's dark and rainy and unbelievably cold outside. In the comfort of my warm house as i sip a cup of my favourite tea , I feel happy and satisfied.It's my parent's anniversary.I have been trying to call them for the last half hour but the phone goes on ringing and there is no answer. I feel sure they would have gone out to celebrate this wonderful day. I am surprisingly not worried about not being able to reach them. I know it's their day. Maybe they are catching a movie, or just meeting with friends and family.
There is another reason for me to be happy.5 years ago on this very day I walked home with my bundle of joy.I am truly amazed at the way time has flown.It's been a such a great adventure.Someday when she is all grown up I would like her to read this blog.I hope these memories fill up the gaps that inevitably occur as one grows up.
There is another reason for me to be happy.5 years ago on this very day I walked home with my bundle of joy.I am truly amazed at the way time has flown.It's been a such a great adventure.Someday when she is all grown up I would like her to read this blog.I hope these memories fill up the gaps that inevitably occur as one grows up.
Friday 16 January 2009
.A Tough Job
I have now been married for a good 10 years. In these 10 years , my education of life and it's demands have been astoundingly immense. I have a great marriage but i have to constantly work at it being even better. All the rosy pictures of a newly married couple (walking of into the sunset) have been slowly replaced by practicality. That I think is an important lesson learned. Next, be willing to give and Very patient to receive. It takes a lot to have a really Happy Marriage. As the years roll by and the first flush of 'being married' dies away, reality hits you.
My thoughts after our first really BIG fight were "This is not the person i married".(I am sure my husband felt the same).In no time we had resolved our differences but made a rule that we would never end the day on a sour note. How naive! It's almost funny now.We have realised that we are two different individuals and each is allowed to have their own opinions.So what do u do? The answer is in striking a balance.And that scary word'compromise'.
It's not that bad, really. My life with my partner is just great. A few downs , but plenty of ups. I have enjoyed the ride.It's been slippery in places but we have always been next to each other,neither ahead nor behind.That's the secret!
The addition of our daughter to our family,has definately helped.We now see the world through her beautiful,innocent eyes. She has been a gift in my life. I must have done something pretty good in my last life to deserve her in this one.She's amazing and has changed our life completely. And my husband agrees with me completely on this one.
Marriage has changed me as it has him. We have learnt to live with our differences and often have benefited from it. I love my life and would not exchange it for any other.I still have that one dream though, of walking of togeather into the sunset.Maybe it will come true. We are working at it all the time .
My thoughts after our first really BIG fight were "This is not the person i married".(I am sure my husband felt the same).In no time we had resolved our differences but made a rule that we would never end the day on a sour note. How naive! It's almost funny now.We have realised that we are two different individuals and each is allowed to have their own opinions.So what do u do? The answer is in striking a balance.And that scary word'compromise'.
It's not that bad, really. My life with my partner is just great. A few downs , but plenty of ups. I have enjoyed the ride.It's been slippery in places but we have always been next to each other,neither ahead nor behind.That's the secret!
The addition of our daughter to our family,has definately helped.We now see the world through her beautiful,innocent eyes. She has been a gift in my life. I must have done something pretty good in my last life to deserve her in this one.She's amazing and has changed our life completely. And my husband agrees with me completely on this one.
Marriage has changed me as it has him. We have learnt to live with our differences and often have benefited from it. I love my life and would not exchange it for any other.I still have that one dream though, of walking of togeather into the sunset.Maybe it will come true. We are working at it all the time .
Thursday 15 January 2009
Tongue Twisters .
Hi all! This morning I came across some really quick ,slick tongue twisters.It's from a book called , 'Fox In Socks' by Dr.Seuss. Lets see u try them; It's about a fox and a dog called,Knox.
Fox Socks Box Knox
Knox in box.
Fox in socks.
knox on fox in socks in box.
Socks on Knox and Knox in box.
Fox in socks on box on knox.
Chicks with bricks come.
Chicks with blocks come.
Chicks with bricks and blocks and clocks come.
Socks on chicks
and chicks on fox.
Fox on clocks
on bricks and blocks.
Bricks and blocks
on Knox on box.
Please , Sir. I don't like this trick ,sir.
My tongue isn't quick or slick , sir.
I get all those ticks and clocks, sir,
mixed up with the chicks and tocks, sir.
I can't do it, Mr.Fox,sir.
Fox Socks Box Knox
Knox in box.
Fox in socks.
knox on fox in socks in box.
Socks on Knox and Knox in box.
Fox in socks on box on knox.
Chicks with bricks come.
Chicks with blocks come.
Chicks with bricks and blocks and clocks come.
Socks on chicks
and chicks on fox.
Fox on clocks
on bricks and blocks.
Bricks and blocks
on Knox on box.
Please , Sir. I don't like this trick ,sir.
My tongue isn't quick or slick , sir.
I get all those ticks and clocks, sir,
mixed up with the chicks and tocks, sir.
I can't do it, Mr.Fox,sir.
Wednesday 14 January 2009
"Make-up" Blues.
The latest thing occupying "K" is make-up. A few children had turned up at school with make -up . This has given her fresh reason to be upset with me for not allowing her to wear any. She said she was going to ask Santa to give her 'make-up' as next year's Christmas gift. I always say "NO" but if Santa gave it to her I couldn't do a thing ,could I? Just goes to show how much she knows about Santa!
But this dialogue has got me thinking. Do I really always say "NO". The answer to that is sadly in the affirmative. My daughter ( all of 5 years ) has managed to bring this out in the open . My question is ,do all mothers do this or am I one of very few? But i cannot give into all the demands she makes . So now I have started following a new tactic, though i don't really know how long it will last.
When the topic came up at the breakfast table (AGAIN) , I stated that our daughter was so pretty that she didn't need any . At first there was silence .Then,"you really think so, Mummy ?"
"of course I do."
"Okay"
I could not believe that the subject was dropped there. She continued spooning down her cereals .Grabbing the opportunity, my husband and I started discussing other mundane things.
"But can I have some lipstick on when I am really big , like 15 years old? "she asked.
"Sure , why not." said I
We have left this conversation there. As of now she is waiting for her 15 Th birthday.
But this dialogue has got me thinking. Do I really always say "NO". The answer to that is sadly in the affirmative. My daughter ( all of 5 years ) has managed to bring this out in the open . My question is ,do all mothers do this or am I one of very few? But i cannot give into all the demands she makes . So now I have started following a new tactic, though i don't really know how long it will last.
When the topic came up at the breakfast table (AGAIN) , I stated that our daughter was so pretty that she didn't need any . At first there was silence .Then,"you really think so, Mummy ?"
"of course I do."
"Okay"
I could not believe that the subject was dropped there. She continued spooning down her cereals .Grabbing the opportunity, my husband and I started discussing other mundane things.
"But can I have some lipstick on when I am really big , like 15 years old? "she asked.
"Sure , why not." said I
We have left this conversation there. As of now she is waiting for her 15 Th birthday.
Tuesday 13 January 2009
Day Dreaming Helps.
The husband is off to work and "K" is at school .My morning duties are over and now its "my time" time. This is my usual routine and I would not have it any other way. The house is quite and I can get on to doing things without any interruptions or interference. Like writing this blog .It's just been a couple of days and I look forward to doing this from the time I am up. My mind goes into thinking mode while I go on functioning like the robot I need to be to get things done on time. I have even caught myself talking to "ME". Isn't that strange? I have never done that before! (NO ......I AM NOT OFF MY ROCKER )
I day dream a lot. I like to plan in advance and then put in a lot of positive energy into what i want. The funny thing is that it usually works. Believe me .....you should try it too. The "enlightened ones" call it THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING. The Guru's have written about this phenomenon and have used it to fulfill many of their dreams. So why can't I ? I have read Shakti Gawain , Wayne Dyer and other authors in this field and the message is the same.
If you have a great desire for something , it could be anything, a trip , a new job, an expensive dress you saw,anything at all,then this is a really good way to attain it. All you need to do is to put out your desire to the universe and go on focusing on it (positively),until it materialises. It's usually sooner than later.
Somehow things just fall in place . To give u a small example. I had not met my sister ,M, for a really long time. And there just didn't seem anyway that we could be getting together in the new future.( She live in Canada). So I placed my faith in the Universe and really focused on us meeting up. I did not bother about the details of how or when. I day dreamed about us getting together and spending time together and having a lot of fun. I was planning what we would do and what we would talk as if she was already here with me.
She suddenly called me up one evening at around 7 to announce that she was coming over to UK to visit me. JUST LIKE THAT. I said a silent "thank you " to the Universe for listening to me and then continued to make preparations for her visit .
I hope this helps somebody out there or at least that people would just keep an open mind to this. TRY IT , IT WORKS !
I day dream a lot. I like to plan in advance and then put in a lot of positive energy into what i want. The funny thing is that it usually works. Believe me .....you should try it too. The "enlightened ones" call it THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING. The Guru's have written about this phenomenon and have used it to fulfill many of their dreams. So why can't I ? I have read Shakti Gawain , Wayne Dyer and other authors in this field and the message is the same.
If you have a great desire for something , it could be anything, a trip , a new job, an expensive dress you saw,anything at all,then this is a really good way to attain it. All you need to do is to put out your desire to the universe and go on focusing on it (positively),until it materialises. It's usually sooner than later.
Somehow things just fall in place . To give u a small example. I had not met my sister ,M, for a really long time. And there just didn't seem anyway that we could be getting together in the new future.( She live in Canada). So I placed my faith in the Universe and really focused on us meeting up. I did not bother about the details of how or when. I day dreamed about us getting together and spending time together and having a lot of fun. I was planning what we would do and what we would talk as if she was already here with me.
She suddenly called me up one evening at around 7 to announce that she was coming over to UK to visit me. JUST LIKE THAT. I said a silent "thank you " to the Universe for listening to me and then continued to make preparations for her visit .
I hope this helps somebody out there or at least that people would just keep an open mind to this. TRY IT , IT WORKS !
Monday 12 January 2009
CUP CAKES
I always set goals for myself. Things that I want to do before it's too late. And one of them is to bake delicious cakes . I have a passion for cooking but baking......that scares me stiff. I guess it is just a mind block, something I am sure I can put behind me. I have promised my daughter ,K, that I will bake her some cup cakes to take to school on the next" bring and sell "in school , to raise money for renovating the school building.
Easier said than done . I have started by looking out for good but easy recipes to start with. And My God! The net is full of them. Now I have to sit and decide on the one I should follow. (Talk about spoilt for choice). So I have my work cut out for me in the next few days, and I am going to do it too.
I will keep u posted.
Easier said than done . I have started by looking out for good but easy recipes to start with. And My God! The net is full of them. Now I have to sit and decide on the one I should follow. (Talk about spoilt for choice). So I have my work cut out for me in the next few days, and I am going to do it too.
I will keep u posted.
Saturday 10 January 2009
Golden Times
My niece has been asking me to send her a letter, by snail mail. She says she wants to receive a letter by post. I was a tad surprised. I remember waiting for the postman during my school days. After my sister was married , my mother waited up every afternoon until she was sure the postman had gone back and there was no letter for her. And if there was a letter , that was the first thing i heard when I was back from school. That was a different life altogether. Today it is the era of instant gratification.It's not that I am complaining, I am a part of it too. The joy of receiving a letter by post or rather the anticipation of the letter is something I cannot easily forget.
My niece is now an adult and away at University studying French. This request of a letter by snail mail made me think of the days when that was the only option one had. And here I am at a time when ,M, is specially requesting one! Obviously I wrote her a nice long , juicy letter and BOY! was she happy. I am glad she has experienced a bit of "olden times" as she calls it. And I hope that when she finds that "someone special " she can have a few "letters" that will not disappear at the press of a button.
My niece is now an adult and away at University studying French. This request of a letter by snail mail made me think of the days when that was the only option one had. And here I am at a time when ,M, is specially requesting one! Obviously I wrote her a nice long , juicy letter and BOY! was she happy. I am glad she has experienced a bit of "olden times" as she calls it. And I hope that when she finds that "someone special " she can have a few "letters" that will not disappear at the press of a button.
Friday 9 January 2009
"Chicken Pakoras, anybody?"
The weekend's here and my family always expect something special. My daughter , this morning , before leaving for school , has asked for "chicken pakoras" in the evening. I know it's oily and not too healthy but I do give into her demands now and then. And anyway I am hoping she will back me up for some shopping (with her fathers credit card) on the weekend. You don't think I'm bribing her , do you?
This is a rather simple way to make mouthwatering crispy pakoras and it does not take too long either. So here goes:
I usually use boneless chicken as it cooks faster and is easier to eat . Cut the chicken into small cubes, not so small that it shrivels up after frying but into bite sized pecies, marinate with white vinegar, ginger garlic paste,one small onion (grated),green chillies,black pepper powder,corriander leaves and salt. Marinate for as long as possible but atleast for an hour. It's best if u marinate in the morning and cook in the evening.
Before frying you need to add an egg and cornflour to the chicken . Mix well with a spoon and deep fry in hot oil. It's a lovely treat on a cold wintry evening with cups of hot tea (and hot gossip?)
This is a rather simple way to make mouthwatering crispy pakoras and it does not take too long either. So here goes:
I usually use boneless chicken as it cooks faster and is easier to eat . Cut the chicken into small cubes, not so small that it shrivels up after frying but into bite sized pecies, marinate with white vinegar, ginger garlic paste,one small onion (grated),green chillies,black pepper powder,corriander leaves and salt. Marinate for as long as possible but atleast for an hour. It's best if u marinate in the morning and cook in the evening.
Before frying you need to add an egg and cornflour to the chicken . Mix well with a spoon and deep fry in hot oil. It's a lovely treat on a cold wintry evening with cups of hot tea (and hot gossip?)
Thursday 8 January 2009
A New Begining .
I made no resolutions this new year. Instead I made a new begining. A new areana that I have never explored before, my own blog. How cool is that! This blog is about life and more importantly , about living . It will include recepies , jokes and anything that I (or for that matter YOU) find interesting and worth sharing. I am venturing into this with the aim that I will make friends , learn a lot and hopefully will have fun doing that .
So, a little about myself. I am married and happily at that for a number of years. My life revolves around my daughter who has just turned five. I am now in UK ,Leeds as hubby dear is here on assignment. I have lived in India for most of my life and this is the first time I have ventured out of my country. New life, new experiences , and "A New Begining ".
So, a little about myself. I am married and happily at that for a number of years. My life revolves around my daughter who has just turned five. I am now in UK ,Leeds as hubby dear is here on assignment. I have lived in India for most of my life and this is the first time I have ventured out of my country. New life, new experiences , and "A New Begining ".
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